A wedding in Tamil is a lot like a typical Hindu wedding but with more red and gold. Our unique customs make Tamil weddings stand out in the country. It’s a cosmic affair where the parents from both sides come together to exchange horoscopes. A priest thereafter evaluates the horoscopes to determine the right time for marriage. The Tamilians represent the majority of the South Indian communities and are looked up to for their stress-free and simplistic lifestyle.
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Conventional Tamil weddings are all about adhering to age-old customs and traditions rather than following lavish norms. Tamilians prioritize spiritual symbolism over anything else during weddings. While Tamil weddings might be interesting and colourful, it is the ceremony that makes up the core aspect of it. There’s no compromise on the customs when it comes to a Tamil marriage, no matter how lavish the event is.
A Tamil wedding, known as Kalyanam happens during the daytime, regardless of the month. Tamil marriages can happen all year round except the following months:
A Tamil traditional marriage is a blend of celebrations that are to be cherished forever. Here is a list of every other custom involved in a Tamilian marriage.
Upon the finalizing of a wedding, the families of both sides pray to their deity to seek blessings. They perform prayers for a successful and happy marriage. They also offer prayer for the protection of the couple. This ceremony is held a day before the main marriage ceremony. The ceremony is privately held at temples or homes and attended by family members only.
Sumangalis refers to women who have been leading a happy and wholesome married life. The bride’s married friends and older relatives attend this prayer ceremony. The purpose of the ceremony is to invoke their dead female ancestor’s blessings for the bride’s married life. The groom’s home performs the same ceremony to bless their new bride before joining the family. The ceremony’s host welcomes the Sumangalis after the ceremony. They are thereafter treated to a lavish traditional feast on banana leaves.
PalligaiThellichal is performed to bless the couple’s marital life with prosperity and happiness. This Tamil matrimony ceremony features around 5-7 married women. All of these women sit to decorate seven earthen pots using sandalwood paste. Thereafter they fill the pots with a mixture of grains and curd which is later immersed in water. Upon being immersed, they feed the fish for good luck. Traditional kolam or rangoli is painted inside the house during the ceremony.
The groom’s family visits the bride’s house, where is given a warm welcome with a rose water shower. The bride’s family blesses the groom after which he is fed with sweets by his future mom-in-law. This is one such ceremony where 10 Brahmins are given a vegetarian feast. They are also lavishly gifted as a means to impress their ancestors. The Brahmins thereafter bless the couple for a happy life ahead.
Vrutham happens a day before the marriage, during the morning. The Vrutham symbolizes the groom’s conversion from bachelorhood to being married. A holy yellow-stained thread is tied around the groom’s wrist to keep evil energy at bay. A similar ritual is performed for the south Indian bride as well.
The Nischayathartham is a formal Tamil wedding engagement ceremony. It is the ceremony where the groom and his family shower the bride with a saree and jewellery. The bride is made to sit and the aarti is done. Thereafter, the Sumangalis tie grains followed by coconuts, turmeric and nuts in her saree’s pallu. A similar ritual is also performed for the groom who is also gifted with special clothes. The couple thereafter changes into a Tamil wedding reception dress and does the ring ceremony.
The wedding day begins with a mangal Snanam ceremony at dawn hours. The ceremony is held in both the bride's and groom’s houses. Both the bride and groom are smeared with a blend of Kumkum, sandalwood and turmeric paste. The family’s married women perform this ritual. Thereafter, the couples bathe in the holy water to cleanse themselves and purify their soul and body. Thereafter they proceed to change themselves into the Tamil Nadu wedding dress for the main event.
Once they get into their traditional wedding dress, the bride performs the Gauri Puja. The puja is addressed to Goddess Gauri who symbolizes virtue and purity. The idol is kept on a plate along with Kumkum and rice. The bride prays to the deity and seeks blessings for her married life.
Kashi Yatra is a Tamil traditional marriage custom that dates back several decades. It is a delightful wedding ritual that sees the groom’s family attending the venue. After reaching the venue, the groom heads towards Kashi with an umbrella on his head and a walking stick. He heads for Kashi to renounce all worldly desires and commit himself to God. The bride’s father then insists that he rather choose domestic bliss and hands over his daughter’s hand to his.
The groom returns to the mandap where the bride’s father washes his feet using holy water. He also uses kumkum, milk and sandalwood.
The bride then comes to the mandap where a garland exchange takes place with the groom about three times. The bride flaunts the most innovative Tamil wedding hairstyles. Their families and friends help them to avoid the garland being exchanged by lifting the other person.
Oonjal translates to swing. For this particular ceremony, the couple sits on a swing where they are gently rocked. Meanwhile, the family’s women encircle them to sing traditional songs. The elders on the other side feed them bananas and milk to bless them. The women carry water pots, earthen lamps and rice balls around them thrice in both directions. The swing rocking symbolizes the challenges and hardships they might face together. The rice balls thrown in four directions represent warding off negativity from their lives.
Kandayadaanam is an important aspect of every Indian wedding. The ceremony represents the final giving away of the bride by her family to the groom. The groom sits on the floor where the bride’s father washes his feet while on his opposite side. The bride is however seated on her father’s lap while he washes her feet. He supports her daughter’s hand that holds a coconut which is then presented to the groom. During the presentation of the coconut, the bride’s mother pours sacred water over it.
This gesture officially marks the handing of the daughter to the groom forever. A holy thread is tied around the wrist of the bride and groom to seal their bond.
Right after Kanyaadaanam, the groom’s family gifts a Tamil wedding saree as a welcoming gesture for the bride. The saree is draped around the bride’s shoulder while the groom applies vermillion on her hair parting. The bride then changes into another new saree and returns for further rituals. The priest then blesses a thali, which equals a mangal sutra. The groom ties it around her bride’s neck. While the first couple of knots is tied by the groom. The bride’s sister ties the remaining knots.
The bride and groom take seven steps around the sacred fire holding hands while chanting Vedic mantras during Saptapadi. It is one of the most integral rituals of a Hindu ceremony. The groom thereafter holds the left toe of the bride as she gets up over a grindstone. This simplifies their union’s solidity.
After the nuptials are over, the two families exchange gifts among themselves. It is the time for the bride to bid adieu to her family in an emotional parting. The south Indian bride leaves her house after praying for her family’s protection and her new journey with her husband.
The bride is welcomed at her new house by the groom’s family. Her mother-in-law conducts a small prayer ceremony known as an aarti. Thereafter, she escorts her bride inside the home where she seeks blessings from the family deity.
The Valeyadal is the bride’s formal introduction to the groom’s relatives, who shower her with gifts as part of the welcome. The couple then participates in a host of interesting wedding games as everyone comes forward to enjoy themselves.
While most traditional Tamil weddings share similarities with Indian rituals and nuances. There are certain marriage things listed in Tamil that are unique.
Modern-day weddings have begun adapting to the couple’s wishes like beach weddings. The traditional Tamil weddings take place in the tranquillity of a temple.
The Tamil wedding menu is an irresistible concoction of textures and flavours. The conventional vegetarian spread at Tamil weddings is enjoyed by both vegetarians and non-vegetarians. Wedding lunches and dinners are mostly vegetarian without the use of meat and alcohol.
The gloss of Kanjeevaram silk sarees in lavish gold threads worn by the Tamil brides is the most enticing aspect. It is also worn as the South Indian reception dress by the bride.
Tamil wedding traditional jewellery is all about intricately carved temple jewellery in conventional designs. Such pure gold pieces add a royal touch to every outfit like meenakari, polka, pearl, and diamond.
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